Remember Today
by sug
Summary: A one-shot deal from Karst's POV on her feelings when she's told Menardi and Saturos are leaving. Not too fluffy, but we get the good side of the villains. R&R!


AN: If you see either Karst, Menardi, or Saturos as nothing but villains and don't like your point of view changed, leave. Now. Very quickly XD Because I have a tendency to bring out the best in...uh, villains ^^;;. Don't get me wrong, its not uberly fluffy, its sorta angsty, but they aren't the bloolusting villains they're sometimes portrayed to be. SO ANYWAY, I'll shut up now. Enjoy.  
  
***  
  
Winter in Prox. A bitter land for a bitter people. Or so the rest of the world is inclined to think. What are we to them? A strange, wild clan, living in eternal cold on the edge of the world - or simply, we don't exist. Interesting how they are comforted by their ignorance. We are not always as they perceived us. Once, we yearned for acceptance from the world, and reached out to them, but in the blink of an eye, we were turned down. Why? Because we believed something they didn't? Because we - because my sister - refused to live in ignorance, knowing the world itself was slowing dying, the flame that kept it alive extinguished? Fools, all of them. Fools and savage, cruel barbarians; hunting down my sister like a wild animal, to end her life because she fought for her own, because her goals were bigger than they imagined, because she challenged their ignorance. The flame that is bitterness has all but consumed me - yet I do not let it take me entirely, because of what she taught me. She felt no real hate, nor anger, towards any of them. For the most part it was pity, as she told me once, though I was too young to understand it back then. But I am not like her in all likeness, for the vengeance and pure, raw hate has become a living thing inside me, and I do not honour her memory as I should, but use it to fuel the bloodlust that drives me to slay the one they call Isaac, to watch in satisfaction as his blood is spilled as my sister's was, to wound him as I was wounded when she fell by the blow delivered by his hand.  
  
And yet, there are times, when I still do remember what it was like before the world tumbled into this swirling cloud of death that it has become in my eyes now.  
  
~~~  
  
"Karst, love, come inside -"  
  
My sister was cut off abruptly when a snowball, flying at quite an alarming speed, hit the side of the doorway, barely a foot away from her face. She blinked rapidly a few times, then narrowed her eyes.  
  
I looked over at Saturos, who was crouched down in snow next to me, and tapped him lightly in the shoulder. "I think she saw you," I said matter-of- factly, my eyes trailing back to my older sibling, who had her hands on her hips and wore quite a serious expression.  
  
A wry smile played across Saturos's strong features as he brushed the snow from his hands. "Ah well." His gaze then turned to me. "But I won't have to worry if I tell her you did it, will I?"  
  
"You wouldn't," I gasped, a small giggle escaping my lips.  
  
"Don't be so sure," he said offhandedly. That was the final straw for me. I lunged at him and tackled him into the snow, toppling him backwards. I earned myself a good faceful of snow, and was wiping it with my sleeve when I felt him lift me up high and set me on his shoulders. He rose slowly, so that only I appeared over the snow bank. I could see Menardi at the doorway - I smiled and waved, though she did not look very thrilled to see me. She seemed too busy trying to bore a hole in the snow right below me, coincidentally where Saturos was standing. I could feel his shoulders shaking as he laughed silently at her indignant rage. After a moment, he emerged from behind the wall of snow and approached the cabin slowly.  
  
I had a good view from Saturos's shoulders - I could see all the way down to the main area of the village, near the inn and the shops, and the various bridges crossing over the eternally frozen rivers. I entertained myself trying to spot the cabins of my friends, and after a while my gaze turned skyward. The night sky above Prox during mid-winter is quite a sight to see, a blanket of dark blue and purple velvet, sprinkled with stars that glistened like diamonds. As I traced the constellations with my mind, trying to remember what my sister had taught me of them, I felt a cool tingling sensation on my nose. Snowflakes began to dot the scenery, but nothing like a heavy storm - light snowflakes, falling in almost slow motion over the lantern-lit town. The sight was mesmerizing, but I looked away in time to duck as Saturos entered the cabin, saving myself a painful knock on the head. As he put me down, he placed a hand on my head and smiled, nothing but great warmth and ease there. "Remember this day, little sister," he said softly, still smiling, but I noticed the smile was no longer so happy. There was something almost mournful to it. I frowned in confusion, but before I could respond, he rose and was headed down the hall, leaving me staring after him in puzzlement.  
  
My sister was standing by the table, plates laid out neatly by three seats. Our parents were down by the northern reaches, on some expedition or another. Being young, I hadn't paid much attention to the details, just protested and demanded relentlessly why they had to go. After they left, I didn't mind it much, though. Menardi and I are never far from each other, and Saturos comes over often to keep us company, and for that I am grateful.  
  
Sitting across the table and regarding her thoughtfully, I could tell my sister was concentrating on something important. She would look up occasionally to exchange a word with Saturos, something about the weather, or the expedition, or something important happening in town, nothing that concerned me very much. But then again, every few seconds, she would lower her voice to an almost whisper and say something very briefly, to which Saturos would either nod, shake his head, or retort in the same quiet voice. My sister has never been secretive with me, nor I with her - she is the most important thing in the world to me, I love her more than anything, and only when I thought about it would I realize it hurt me to learn she was keeping something from me. It made me think I wasn't trustworthy, and it wounded me even more to think she regarded me with anything near suspicion or distaste. Sooner or later, she would catch me staring, and smile reassuringly, and everything would be okay again.  
  
It was almost midnight when I awoke abruptly, startled by the sound of voices. I threw the covers aside and slid off the bed quietly, tip-toeing to my window. There was a single light on in town left, the light from the inn, but apart from that it looked a little like a ghost town, the evergreens swaying in the wind, casting fleeting shadows over the silver snow. I shivered, then remembered why I had woken up in the first place. I turned my back on the window and examined my door. Sure enough, firelight flickered faintly from the other side. I approached it and opened the door as quietly as I could, almost willing myself to float above the floorboards so as not to make them creak. I peered out into the gloom of the hallway and saw immediately the light was coming from Menardi's room.  
  
Careful to leave my door opened in case I had to make a break for it, I slipped into the corridor and approached her room. Holding my breath, I could hear the quiet whispers that had woken me up in the first place. The door had been left a few inches open, so I took advantage of it and peered inside. A hundred questions filled my mind as I saw my sister sitting at her desk, bent over something, the light from the lantern casting shadows over her face. Saturos was there too, leaning over her, his fingers tracing patterns over the desk. By his movements, I could guess easily it was a map they were inspecting. But for what purpose? I kept asking myself, getting only the silence of the house in response. Because I could get no closer, I decided to use my ears instead, to see if I could maybe understand their soft whispers.  
  
"We'll have to make it through the northern reaches first."  
  
"By foot? That's a long and almost impossible journey."  
  
"What other choice do we have? There's a path south of there."  
  
The snippets of conversation I caught fell into place like pieces of a puzzle. From what I could gather, they spoke of the outreaches and borders of town. Could than mean they planned to leave? Impossible. No one left Prox. Why would my sister have reason to leave, anyway? Everything was here. Her life was here. I was here.  
  
More questions flooded my mind, and I itched to know what they were planning and why. The why especially nagged at me, and I kept telling myself it was just some childish excursion they were planning, nothing important. As I did so, I began to remember all her strange behaviour, distant looks and quiet talks with Saturos. So the puzzle was complete. Or almost. All I wanted to know was why.  
  
Lost in my own thoughts, I hadn't realized that I was gripping the door handle so tight I had begun to lean on it, and before I could catch my bearings, I tumbled forward into the room, creating quite a bit of noise. Saturos whirled around, and Menardi rose from her chair quickly and turned to see me sprawled on the floor. A look of bewilderment crossed her fine features, then concern, and she came over and knelt beside me, Saturos hovering behind her.  
  
"Karst?"  
  
I sat up, rubbing the shoulder I'd landed on. When I stopped concentrating on my minor injury, it occurred to me that I had just appeared out of nowhere and intruded on what was obviously something quite private and secret. I could feel my cheeks grow hot.  
  
"I- I'm sorry," I murmured, barely audible. "I heard voices, and -,"  
  
My sister hushed me quickly and helped me up, brushing dust from my tunic. I looked up at her, my eyes pleading for forgiveness, but her own garnet eyes did not meet mine. She seemed more concerned with my condition after a small tumble than she did with what I'd just done, and I felt another pang of - what was it? Guilt? Shame? Whatever it was, I was taken aback. My sister and I are always direct with each other, there's never any reason to avoid one an another, or hide our feelings, and yet, here she was, her eyes dark and downcast, unable to face me. A sort of panic began to rise in my chest - was she disappointed with me? I felt tears brimming at the corner of my eyes, and closed them quickly. I didn't want to seem like a child in front of her, not when I was already a disappointment.  
  
"Karst."  
  
I did not open my eyes, but simply turned away. I felt a hand brush against my cheek as her slim fingers skimmed below my eyes, wiping the tears that had begun to slide down my face.  
  
"Karst, look at me."  
  
I could not resist her voice, so I opened my eyes slightly, and found this time, she was staring right at me, both hands now on my shoulders. I will never forget those eyes - they had a sort of foreboding in them, a sadness so profound, as if some inevitable fate or tragedy were coming and she knew it, but could do nothing to stop it. She sighed deeply, then looked up at Saturos, as if for consent. He nodded slowly, and she turned back to me.  
  
"We must talk."  
  
"Talk?" I echoed, my eyes not leaving hers. She nodded in response, then grasped my hand tightly and led me back to me room. I followed slowly, as if in a trance, unaware of striding across the hall, opening my door or setting myself down on my bed. The trance was broken when my sister lowered herself down on the bed beside me, our eyes meeting once again. Her grip tightened, and I realized she was still holding my hand. In that moment I felt like holding onto it forever.  
  
"Karst." she took a deep breath. "Saturos and I are.leaving."  
  
All I could do was sit there and blink back at her. Leaving? What did that mean? Where were they going? Why? The questions rose and began swarming once again, but I don't think all the psyenergy in Weyard would've given me enough strength to ask those questions. So I simply remained silent and waited for her to continue.  
  
"We weren't planning on telling anyone," she went on quietly, her eyes shifting to the floor, then to Saturos, who was leaning against my door frame, looking at the both of us with a kind of sad pity. The same mournful expression I'd seen when we'd come into the house. "But I didn't want to leave without telling you anything. I couldn't. I'm sorry this has fallen on you so suddenly, I." Suddenly, the apology seemed small and meaningless compared to what she was telling me, and wrapping her arms around me, she let her voice trail off. The room was silent, though I wouldn't have noticed if it had been roaring with noise. I couldn't fully grasp what I had just been told - the prospect of my sister, my friend, my everything, leaving. Never feeling her light touch or warm embrace, it seemed to difficult to grasp.  
  
"Why?" I whispered hoarsely, not even recognizing my own voice.  
  
Our bond was so close I could practically sense the pain she was experiencing. I knew then that whatever it was, it was extremely important, and difficult to explain; I wanted to tell her it was alright, to tell her I didn't need an explanation, but the words failed me entirely, so I continued to sit in silence, waiting.  
  
"It's very important," I heard Saturos murmur softly from the door. He looked at the two of us gravely. "We would explain it to you, but. you would not understand."  
  
Normally, I would feel insulted at such a comment; I'm much more intelligent than I look, but at that moment, nothing mattered to me except never having to leave my sister's arms, even if it meant being a child forever.  
  
"We'll return soon," she whispered, laying her chin on my head. I wanted to believe those words with all my heart, to feel as if they were really a promise, but something inside me refused to take them seriously. False hope - how could she promise something she did not know? My sister never broke her word.  
  
Saturos approached us now and laid a hand on my shoulder. "Karst." His voice was soft but strong; he had known all along that this would have to happen eventually. He bent down slowly so that we were eye to eye. "Karst, you must listen to me carefully now. Your sister and I will be on a very important mission, and its vital that it stay as secret as possible, do you understand?"  
  
His words were blunt, and I heard them, but I could hardly grasp them. All of this was being revealed to me much too quickly. I still considered the thought of Menardi leaving nothing short of an impossibility.  
  
I felt her run a hand through my hair, and all of a sudden I was overcome by a great weariness. As my eyes closed, I felt tears slide down my cheeks, and heard her soft voice. " I will return. I promise."  
  
The dawn was dark, the sky a murky grey, as I stood by the southern border of Prox, examining the two strange steeds that stood before me. They were of a silvery-grey colour, and according to Saturos, they came from far north, or as far north from Prox as one can go. They were good travelling animals, and would be used to carry supplies on the first leg of their journey.  
  
I heard footsteps and turned to find Saturos carrying a large leather-bound bag, which he hoisted over the saddle of the creature and tied to its stirrups. He gave me one last look, but remained silent, and mounted. Our goodbye had been brief, a simple embrace and word or two of reassurance. I am not sure if it because of his expectation that they will return, or simply because he doesn't want to have to endure the pain of what goodbye really means.  
  
I felt a warm sensation and turned to find my sister next to me, looking out towards the northern reaches, past the mountains. Without a word, she turned to me, took my hand and kissed me briefly on the forehead, then mounted her steed as well, tossing the hood of her cloak over her head. She looked down at me, her eyes dark behind the shadow of the hood, but I could still see the ruby sparkly in them. Gripping the reins, she touched my cheek with her free hand. It is said that we Proxians do not feel the cold, having adapted to living on the edge of the world, and it is true. But I believe that day I felt cold for the very first time, for as my sister touched my cheek, I did not feel her warmth, but a different sensation; an unfamiliar tingling, stinging sensation. I touched her hand with my own and felt a chill sweep through my body. After a moment, she withdrew, and looked at me one more time, her shadowed face etched with an infinite sorrow.  
  
"Remember this day, little sister."  
  
With that, she turned, and was gone.  
  
~~~  
  
Thinking back now, I ask myself what would have happened differently had I known that was the last time I was to see her. Could I have stopped her? Perhaps. Perhaps? No, no - of course I would have. But I cannot undo what is done, so I must live on with the final memory of her shadowed face, cold touch and soft, haunting words. So I shall finish what she began, and in doing so, carry out her last request: I will remember. 


End file.
